Okay, so maybe I’m not the most artistic person in the world, but what I lack in artistic talent I make up for in some really great uni stories that I hope you enjoy reading, especially cassie, cause I’m sure you’re the only one actually following this.. ANYWAYS..
SO, I moved in on Saturday, got pretty hammered that night and woke up Sunday feelin pretty fuckin great and ready to go again.. We did airbands on Sunday afternoon. That’s like where the 3 floors closest to me in res like get together and make up a completely ridiculous dance to a completely ridiculous song and then perform it to the other floors in res as a way off showing what complete asses we all are.. So my group chose Like A Virgin by Madonna.. That’s right, we’re all pretty horny… So I was a flower in the dance, and like there were trees too, and in the beginning the bride (a 250 pound guy) came out through the trees and flowers (the wilderness) and started breakin it down on the stage. AND THEN.. like a 6’, 100 pound guy, in turquoise spandex came out prancing around on the stage (the virgin). And then we had some acorns (or nuts) come out and they were like being chased by a bunch of squirrels (it was so fucking random it was hilarious). And then we had some butterflies flutter across… And then the chorus started… Hehe.. SO.. the prancing virgin came out again and sure enough we had our very own dominatrix, that’s right, our floor coordinator in like a corset, skirt, stripper sandals, and a whip.. THAT’S RIGHT, A WHIP.. they chased each other around the stage for a bit and then the dominatrix like summoned the penis to come, haha, or cum I suppose, out.. So we had another like 6’, 100 pound, guy dressed in white from head to toe, and wrapped in saran wrap (this is uni, and we are all for safe sex around here) and this guy was like jumping all around stage and like rubbing up against everyone and poking them, it was fucking great. And, BELIEVE IT OR NOT, it gets better.. So these fairies come out and dance around and then summon out the KY, yes KY, lube.. So we’ve got four guys in huge boxes with KY written all over them that are stumbling around, and sure enough, they find the penis, and they’re all lubing it right up and it’s like a classic herbal essences commercial with the penis going all YES! YES! MORE! MORE! And then it’s like totally ready and it goes and rubs up allover the prancing, and not so innocent anymore, virgin, and then comes out the final butterfly, this all made up like 200 pound muscle guy, hairy chest and all.. And everyone’s just like falling on the ground hysterical and we just barely manage to make it off the stage.. Ahhhh.. Good times, what can I say?